Leaves of Bad is an American television drama series created and produced by Bill Ducket. Set and produced in rustic Brooklyn, New York. Leaves of Bad is the story of Walter Whitman, a struggling high school poetry teacher who is diagnosed with advanced consumption at the beginning of the series. He turns to a life of crime, producing and selling laudanum with a former student, Henry David Thoreau, with the aim of securing his family’s financial future before he dies.
7 TWEETS THAT GOT SOME OF MY NOVELTY TWITTER ACCOUNTS BANNED
1. I’m at setting uncle’s home on fire (ground zero) 4sq.com/KUnTfCUC
2. a a about always ants be by eaten feeling give have hug i i like little million someone to to wanted were w/out #alphabetical
3. IF THIS GETS MORE THAN 300RT I WILL EAT BEES UNTIL I BECOME THEIR NEW QUEEN AND FUCK ALL YALL UP PLZ RT namaste
4. Friends don’t let jackasses drink and drive
5. #ff @bin-laden #ff @MCHammer #Back2TheLove
6. i just walked into a room and saw my family, family is marble and costco membership is now invalid yolo and i sometimes wish i had cancer
7. (RTing anyithing by @danecook )
for more infomation see “introduction to metal subgenres“ thank u
7 THINGS I’VE LEARNED FROM BEING ALIVE
1. As you get older your ability to warp time increases based on how many facebook likes you have. If you get beyond a certain threshold of likes you get to join a secret facebook group where you are allowed to close your eyes and feel Mark Zuckerberg’s face. Rub his forehead for good luck and pinch his nose to kill your enemies. If you collect a Zucckerberg tear, all dogs become loyal to you and you get five orders of fries for free at any time.
2. Every vending machine has a secret. If you press the correct sequence of buttons a picture of your childhood that was never taken will come out of the dollar slot along w/ a condescending caption on the back.
3. Hopefully you will see people you love die. Their death may be a sudden episode or it may be a long and withered process. As long as you try and stay alive, those you love will soon fail at staying alive.
4. There is a family of chipmunks living behind every movie screen. The chipmunks are racist and make up for ~75% comments on the internet. They live off of your movie theater waste so remember to always litter in a movie theater.
5. Once you realize that no one will ever rescue you from a burning building and you commit that idea into your brain meat, you will be able to jump higher than you ever could before.
6. Wu-Tang Clan ain’t nothing to fuck w/ (ditto re Three 6 Mafia)
7. Once you have children you realize a horrible truth. Every parent can perfectly read the mind of their child in an un-interrupted thought stream and that is a parent’s duty to keep this a secret from their child. This technology was developed by Comcast and is the reason why every childless adult is a truly selfish horrible beautiful person.
8. Vegans can hold no secrets and you never learned how to count.
NEW IDEAS
-Reflect on every comment I have ever made on the internet. Think about my mother looking over my shoulder as I revisit every comment I have ever made and pretend that I have to explain to her multiple levels of context until I render myself into one God sized tear drop.
-Think about every insecurity I have and visualize putting them into a burrito and feeding it to Hannah. Watch as she chews it and watches a TV that is too loud for my comfort and hold all of my anxiety into my hyper-white fists. Figure out a way to add jokes and make it funny.
-Count every hour I have been on the internet doing something non-productive and pray for the time back. When I do get the time back Three 6 Mafia is my reclaimed time’s parole officer and I have to check in w/ Three 6 Mafia in order to stay out of heaven jail. It is mutually beneficial.
-Think about every dickish thing I ever did around my father. Think about every dickish thing my father has done around me. Remember the last time I saw my father. Remember the last time I saw my father’s body. Think about how I try and play some sort of music in my head when I picture him but there is nothing but silence.
-Meditate on thoughts of fast food. Organize them first by chain then by meats and in a tertiary qualifier, a french fry death match called FRENCH FREE CRUCIFIXION
-Where I motivate myself to becoming CEO by imagining myself as a CEO and govern my CEO sensibilities as anything that signifies a disrespect to the haters.
-Namaste is a non-contact greeting. That means if I am approached by anyone I can say Namaste and that fucker cannot fucking hug me
This is me, trying to write after having my mind softly pulped from having two jobs
